Many of us face strong, body wrenching reactions to emotions! It’s as though someone grabbed the volume control and turned it to max – as it distorts sound/ and reactions to a point sound makes poor sense! Ugh- This force against you leaves you afraid, disabled, and reactively out of control!! The symptoms can be so uncomfortable that it leads us to fear ever facing difficult circumstances!
What if- what if we could find a way to be with harsh feelings, with a better approach to managing how we react? What if there was a skill one could learn in the face of adversity?
Emotional control, a skill to teach us how to reduce the waves and overcome overwhelm!
1- distress tolerance: build up your resiliency- and as a result it can soften the effects of an upsetting situation
2-mindfulness- be in the moment – and less back there or upfront!
3- emotional regulation- recognize clearly what u feel- observe the emotion- before you are overwhelmed by it -(modulate feelings before behaving in reactivity)
4- interpersonal effectiveness- new tools to set limits and negotiate solutions to problems- ensuring we respect our relations with others!
So learning about these skills is only a tiny piece of the solution!!! Nothing- will take away emotional overwhelm without behavioural practice! Think about how you react in a vulnerable conversation? Write ways you currently react- what do u do in these situations that are damaging? What tendencies would you replace with positive ways?!
Life is hard- we all know this- but we are not are hardships especially when it’s emotions that direct our reactions! Learn these four technique and you too can literally alter the ways in which you connect!