I call it OANV and it’s a condition of stressing over things I cannot change, and not finding the courage to focus on the things I can!
How many of us get fixated on things that matter not: what your child chooses to wear or not wear, the alignment of the pictures on the wall, the orderly fashion of how things get done and so on, enough that it takes up so much space in our mind that nothing else can be focused upon until our problems are realigned!
I’m that girl! I like to drive a certain way home, and often fight with my husband on which is the shortest route- a conversation that has been occurring for far too many years- each route getting us the same outcome -no matter which way we take we arrive at the same place!
You see Becoming OANV fuels anxiety! It’s root lies in a need for control, a need for order and a need for feeding our own emotional turmoil! Obsessed about nothing valuable is a sense of perfection and a constant drive in to the mind, to analyze, change and realign what’s right!
All for self control
Perfectionism is well known in psychology as the flawless experience of something. It’s a form of judgement upon a desire for something- and we either achieve to feed a need or we don’t so we fixate!
Being OANV can occur in many of our life domains. It mostly occurs within ourself- how something fits or doesn’t fit, on upon others- our standards for how we believe others should be or should see! The goal is finding a way ,through a belief and ruminating in all its flaws!
I noticed around the age of 23 my need to succeed, and a struggle with obsessing about nothing valuable!
I would often obsess about random things – reordering my things, cleaning, homework and to do lists! The obsession to focus on something served to distract-me away from the real pain, my mental pathway! I was a university student and suddenly found myself vulnerable. The natural tendency through these difficulties was to react in such a way I found myself reaching for things i could do to take my mind off the vulnerable or brand new!
– my go to OANVs
-my hair –
-my school work
-having, doing, & being more
-symmetry, self-repeating patterns, and perfect flow or fit of whatever it was that required it!
Being OANV can be taxing. It serves on a larger part as a genuine distraction especially under stress and overwhelm! I would often mask away the emotional experiences and fixate on controllable things!
We as humans tend to crave more, and desire more! Our perception, in moments like these, drives us to believe these are what matter most right then!
Believe it or. not, but These OANV distractions offered calming within!
You see, being OANV doesn’t mean obsessing and being compulsive to something- There was no underlying fear in my circumstantial distractions, but a focus change, a new pace, or getting out of my own way, to make space!
I have since learned to let go, allow my annoyances to pass, and am continually learning to surpass my drive to distract myself when life is hard! Cleaning still comes, I love this tool to calm the chaos!
Maybe you relate to this, or recognize some of these traits in your own kids! Here’s my journey through self discovery- from anxiety to resiliency! if you wanna learn a little about my journey through strain and how i found my way, here’s the link!